3 Ways To Understand Yourself
I find that we live a very conditioned life as opposed to an intentional life. We live a life we feel like we are supposed to instead of one that is authentic to who we are and who we want to be. So how do we break this cycle of living a conditioned life? It’s by learning how to understand yourself.
Understanding yourself is about being able to identify your biases, triggers & core values.
Identify Your Biases
Biases can be conscious and unconscious. They are formed as a result of programming and the socialization of the culture around us. Our brains automatically categorizes, evaluates and compares things based on the information it receives. So this begs the question, how can we objectively monitor our programming? The answer? By reflecting on our experiences.
To better understand your experiences, ask yourself the following questions: Who are your three best friends? Where are the last three places you’ve lived in? Who are the last three people you’ve been in relationships with? BE AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE!
Practice doing this regularly and you will start to rewire your brain, make your unconscious biases conscious, become more observant and more empathetic.
Identify Your Triggers
If you fail to recognize your triggers, your emotions become unchecked and left unchecked, they can become anger, fear, hatred , sadness, anxiety and much more. These emotions are all barriers to connection to yourself as well as others. Another consequence of not checking in with your emotions is that you will end up being controlled by them. Whenever you're triggered, record the following:
How does your body react when your emotions go off? What is it telling you and what is it reacting to?
Who or what triggered the emotion?
What needs of yours weren't being met at that moment?
Documenting this will allow you to understand your tendencies, body language and tone when you’re mad, happy, nervous, etc.
Identify Your Core Values
Your core values are your fundamental beliefs as a person. They also can guide your decision making. I want you to be intentional and use your core values to make decisions instead of your biases. This will become your personal code of conduct and allow you to become your most authentic self. We are currently at an inflection point in the world today where we need to decide who we are and who we want to be. The gap between who we are and who we want to be is what our lives are all about. The way we get to become the person we want to become is through understanding our personal core values. Core values inform our drive, motivations and what is important to us and without drive or motivation, there is no action. And no action means no actual connection. Your core values are essentially your heart and soul. Think of your core values as your compass. They are the essence of your character.
I find that core values don’t matter unless you’re living them and if you’re living them, are they consistent with the person you want to become? Carl Jung once said, “You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.” and he couldn’t be more right. A lot of the disconnect we see today is because people aren’t consistently living out their values.
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